| Thursday, June 15th, 2006 |
| Thu 15th Jun 06 & 12:40 AM |
glagla googoo
i'm boredddd... i shall sleep soon though.. havn't been updating this thing for ages. too busy on bebo even though i dun really use it that much =P I WANNA SEE JO!!!! yea thats practically all in my mind right now.. mmmmm yea short entry.. nothing interesting happened. night night peepz and hava good one yallz <3 Current Mood:  confused |
| Sunday, May 14th, 2006 |
| Sun 14th May 06 & 12:02 AM |
hmmmmmmm
Sooooo.. how you been guys? i'm pretty happy ! seeing how i think i'm gonna see jo at 9 tomorrow.!! WooooOooOOoOOoo!!! and yea talked to her bout so much stuff lately =) always wanted a girl who i can talk to bout anything =) so happy ^^ and of course i gotta thank God for everything.. even though i had a lotta difficulties in life and alotta catches to it i think i always manage to find ways round it and now i have jo we get through it together =) ;) and i gotta thank that girl for everything she did to me too <3 define my life and myself too and showed me things i'd never find out in a million years ;) love ya girll <3 mmmmmmm i'm such a pig i'm drinking half of the 1:25 litre coke =P .. i think i'm worse than jo.. *shifty eyes.. =P anyways i'm working out more now so determined to get a better body =P and ummmmm yea thats bout it havn't been doin much.. except i'll try and make the most outta tomorrow ;) AND EVERYONE LISTEN TO THE SONG "Everthing - B2K" !! maD SONG guys <3 nighty and swt drms guys and love yaz <3<3<3 Current Mood:  happy |
| Friday, April 28th, 2006 |
| Fri 28th Apr 06 & 11:44 PM |
Bored La~(*sigh.. Fobs.. when will they learn?)
havn't been updating for a while guys. and its not cos i'm not lazy.. i think i'm spose to be doing exercise right now.. dang i'm so obsessed wit building right now. you see my friend who doesn't even work out and has six pack! but then its lyk a really crap one cos he's skinny and all but COme On!.. thats so slack.. one day ya'll see me on the cover of Playboy magazine ;) or something ionno! jus jokes please dun take these serious? i jus commented on ma girlfriends site! apparently shes a liar = . =. i doubt shes gonna have the guts to admit it though.. shame.. someone should spank her.. =P her friends are so cool =) lyk kriss and thuc and the rest. whereas ricky(ma best friend) couldn't even tell me bout what happened today which angered him.. thats why his pic was blank and so was his name.. *sigh.. Anyways.. Jo! i wanna ask you something.. why do you put surveys and quizes on your blog when ppl there obviously knows all bout you?! could've put something more interesting there! maybe you can put pics of those really hot guys wit dem packs. i mean at least that'll attract topics for you girlfriends! my entries are entertaining! ish.. see and i jus started using it =P but technically i'm talkin to myself and a few cos not alotta ppl know bout this.. i dun wanna tell some cos i dun need everyone knowing bout my life.. hmmm nothing else.. hava good day guys <3 love yaz girl <3<3<3 Current Mood:  bored |
| Monday, April 17th, 2006 |
| Mon 17th Apr 06 & 11:54 PM |
If You Had One Wish..
right now i have just one wish which i want it to come true.. just one. if you had one wish what would it be? ice cream? be the most prettiest person in the world? i only had one wish and thats always my only wish. and when i say jo you know what i'm wishing *sigh.. holidays so boring hey? so much nothing to do.. i feel lyk i'm wasting my time here.. havn't been playing basketball for freagin ages.. and i have to work on wednesday again. far out i dunno meaning of holiday anymore. i can't do everything or anything lyk i used to.. or jus say last december. thats the best holiday in my life =) lately i've been doin what i's doin in that pic o'er there.. daydreaming and depressed. i wonder why.. i hate it when my dad or other ppl say i'm tryna act cool when i lyk say nothing or jus sit there or whatever.. they'd never have the problems i have.. Sure it might seem a lil childish but they're still my problems.. if anyone can jus understand me they wouldn't see me the way others do.. well to be honest its jus azns.. they dun understand crap. jus cos they're born good2shoes and obey their parents lyk as if they're slaves doesn't mean i have to or act lyk they did wit their parents. i hate it when ppl act how they're forced to instead of how They want to be.. lyk my parents their appeal's for the public to judge.. sad sad asians.. lost their ways.. yesterday i went to watch the movie marathon wit my brother.. kidna felt a lil gay.. i swear all the chicks and guys there have Another guy or chick wit dem.. so sickening i went wit my bro.. and all the couples lyk huggin and shyt and laughing i's listenin to my dumb mp3.. sheez.. Anyways its good to spend some quality time wit someone you love.. lyk last time i went wit jo ;) but yea i's pretty fkn satisfied cos it never appealed to me that its actually possible.. love is mad. if i havn't talked bout this i wanna talk bout it now =) wanna share somethin wit you well i jus wanna type it in my journal cos i dun wanna say this to my friends cos i'm corny enough as i am already =P when you love someone you get this feeling thats almost indescribable and its internal lyk last time when i talked to my friend bout it. its lyk this tingly feeling all round the body.love is the best thing ya know. as you may well know the cliched phrase "love is priceless" and all that junk i reckon its pretty dam true. love isn't something that you can play wit its something that should be treasured and it jus happens. parents say we shouldn't lyk build relationship but i dun think they realize this even though they're married.. but its something which jus happens, you can meet this person and in round 6 months that person can become the next best thing which happened to you in your life, no matter if its in kindy, year 5, year 6, or any age. all i know is when you trust a person and know that person so much and truely believe that loving her is right then go ahead. dun let anything stand in your way. my love for things eternal, lyk jo, my dog, family, no matter what i say bout them i still love my mom and my bro but they jus never see it.. i dun wanna act lyk as if its lyk incest or something. but i do love em. and my friends, i'm loyal to em and i trust them, and these applies to my best friends and all my other friends, but of course to gain my trust fully's takes time. one thing i dun get from my mom is expecting me to be lyk that to my dad.. he already betrayed my trust and my familys.. the difference is they think we'll die without him.. its so sad god can't make everything obvious for some people.. and oh of course the one person i'm most loyal and faithful to is god. witout him i think i'd be dead. lyk literally. my whole lyf wouldn't be possible witout him in it. he was wit me all the way, from when my mom had her brain operation til now wit jo. only if god can get through to everyone else lyk he did to me.. i think its pretty bullshit how everything happened.. lyk when my mom had so many operations and problems she still survived and have enough energy to shout at me everyday.. some people say its a miracle some of the ppl and doctors working in the hospital wanted to take a blood sample from my mom.. its so crazy how she recovered so fast.. but i thought its normal maybe i jus dunno how long a person shoudl take to recover from that type operation.. my mom used to tell us bout how she had needles as thick as the straws at maccas all round her body and stuff and we used to tell her to shut up and stop talkin bout it.. ionno but my life sounds complex enough? don't you? mayeb thats why i'm a sissy sometimes cos i went through too much to jus die.. hmm anyways this is way off the topic. i jus Really really really want to get through to you chicks *stare.. if you lyk someone or whatever stop implying! its drives guys nuts ya know? seriously.. then you guys go all depressed when you missed your opportunity.. and those shy bitches drives me crazy.. jus lyk comes at you and lyk giggle then runs away.. so can you guys lyk spread this to all your friends who's doin it.. its not helping.. maybe some lame dumb guys think its cute but its really stupid for some as well.. if someones doing something INVITE MEEEE! i'm bored here.. i need to go out.. i wanna ago to gym more often but my parents dun think i need to go and they think i might die off overworkign or not using the equipments right.. and when i say i know they jus say no.. lyk this "YOU DUNNO SHYT LA~ STOP GOIN TO GYM AH! YOU DUN NEED TO AND YOU MIGHT DIE IF YOU DON'T LISTEN LA~ IF YOU DON'T THEN DON'T LISTEN TO US EVERY AGAIN LA~ AND DON'T TALK TO US AND LIVE ON YOUR OWN LA~!!" yea thats basically it.. i dunno shit..? fkn smash their heads wit a dumbell thats what =P when i mean their it applies to my dad only =P so yea take me somewhere guys i'm bored as.. mm thats bout it ya guys have fun this holiday aight? and for you lover blubba chicks stop implying and stop being so ambiguous. ok? spread it! =) mm imam go play some game now havn't been playing for 2 days.. so gnight and sweet dreams and love ya'll <3<3<3<3<3 And love ya too babygirl <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 lublublublublublublub <3<3<3 and 3 hearts doesn't mean sex ok? ok ^^ Current Mood:  content |
| Friday, April 14th, 2006 |
| Fri 14th Apr 06 & 12:42 AM |
Bored
freagin sadd.. i'm not even happy even though holidays started.. its lyk full shytt.. gonna be boring yaaa'lllll.. and i can't even play basketball at lyk 6 now cos its winter now.. or close anyways.. *sigh.. well at least i finally got a mp3 again. today in class we had a free period to jus use the computers so i jus browsed round the apple website and foudn the ipods quite interesting. so i decided to buy myself one cos i started working now so i have to payyy. *sigh.. what happened to the good ol days when your parents buy everything for you.. and damit i need to get a new credit card cos on wednesday after work i tried to check my account balance then after that my card didn't come out.. so yea.. i bashed the motherf***** good =D nah jus slightly. =) anyways so yea i was so inspired i got it on the exact day i visited the site. so i wanted to get the 1gb nano. then yea procedure completed transactions finished everything done went to the car park. took out the box for closing inspections =) jus lyk everytime i get something new i lyk jus fully inspect the box or the outside of it first =) then i found out its a 2gb =O so yea i paid for a 1gb and got a 2 =) mmmm.. sweet.. nearly finished lyk 8gb already. and i love the songs my manager play at hungry jacks so yea i'll get more on my ipod eventually. and my friends ipod video smells lyk whoppers cos ppl can plug in their ipods and listen to it while everybodys working so yea self explanatory =) but he's an idiot its lyk 30gbs wit videos and its 450 bucks.. that lyk completely defeat the purpose of a mp3 (compact, small, plays music).. but meeh he's rich. i thinkk anyways. nothing much happened today apart from that and spent lyk the whole time when i came back putting songs into the nano and downloading more songs and whatever songs i can think of cos i had to reformat my comp.. so yea i needed to get some old songs back. if you find this update doesn't make much sense at tiems its cos its gettin close to 1am and i slept at 2am yesterday.. nevertheless i'll be able to sleep longer tonight.. and YAY double pay on saturday. i need to buy a new bag too =D mm.. stupid pius turned me into a shopping freak! anyways i jus wanna new bag and thats it. wooo.. then movie marathon on sunday hopefully.. but no ones goin so i'm pretty much goin alone.. =( ah well it'll be good to spend some quality time wit self. hope you guys have a safe and fun holidays yea? love yaz <3<3<3<3<3<3<3 Current Mood: bored |
| Saturday, April 8th, 2006 |
| Sat 8th Apr 06 & 9:31 AM |
fdfdafdsafsadfsagearhaenrna
Jus woke up! was spose to receive an email from a certain someone *stare =P anyways i think i'm freagin sick cos of friends who are nerdy enough to go school even though they're sick and choose to cough everywhere.. wooo another shift today.. 11-4pm. bla bla bla bla! should've applied for KFC and learn the "secret ingredient". dangg.. anyways still i know how to make a whopper now =) and i'm gonna cough on it to kill ppl! SARSSS!!! nah jus kidding =) as if i'd do that.. *shifty eyes.. better go brush my teeth gettin late and jus randomly updating journal cos i havn't been doin it for a while =P Current Mood:  FOR ONCE |
| Wednesday, April 5th, 2006 |
| Wed 5th Apr 06 & 12:16 AM |
Blah....
sooo boreed... i wanna stay up alll night til lyk 6-7am and leave the house jogging to school with a jumper and a hood and a basketball.. cos i only have 2 periods tomorrow i so i dun need anything.. for art i'll jus ask friends for pencils.. *sigh.. lately i've been wanting to get cornrows with a maze shaved on it (enigma).. i mean obviously.. my friends said i'd look alright with it but my stupid mom.. jus care too much bout her christiany reputation.. said its bad enough as it is since i got my ear pierced and dyed my hair.. sayin i'm "going to school".. i jus want to be me man.. dun want nothing to do with the society and their judgements and comments.. why do ppl jus love being told what to do.. i want to live My Own life.. why do ppl have to stop me.. and why can't God make ppl stop judgin others.. i mean nobody's perfect. and i know myself i'm less than 20% perfect.. i've changed so much ppl's state of mind in being themselves and everything and made them believe that they should do what They think is right and not let ppl push them around, and i'm a great supporter of that.. in some point in time ppl will eventually step up and thats how my fights with parents starts.. they want me to be jus lyk them.. me not goin to church somehow makes me less of a christian? thats a joke right mom? if you dun have faith in God.. even if you go to church everyday it won't help Shyt.. me having ear piercing or dying my hair's jus being me.. there's only One Me.. and i am who i am. why stop me? i'm only living once.. why? i'm not a thug or a gangster i'm nothing Near it.. i swear on my life too i'll never become one.. me gettin cornrows jus a change i want. i dun lyk so much hair on my head.. not lyk i'm not gettin enough anyways.. *sigh.. i want to feel the feeling for playing sports and doing things without the restrictions from my hair.. and Hey who said only black guys can get cornrows.. i see curries with cornrows, i see many other types of other ppl wit em too and even my friend said he saw 8 azns with cornrows. i dun want to be a nigger.. sure i play basketball.. i Love the game.. i love usher, jayz, alicia keys, omarion, Whatever.. sometimes me friends say i talk lyk a nigger for some dumbas ionno how reason.. but that doesn't mean i Want to be a nigger.. you wanna know where these traits come from? ever since i got my first computer and was introduced to my first computer game (counter-strike) i was addicted. i play everyday and i began to buy more games, communicate with tons of people over the net, All Types of ppl.. i meet with a lotta ppl in my life on and offline. i'd say at least 40% of Me is made up by those ppl. yea they're a great influence.. but thats part of being me. you don't have to love me and you can hate me if you want.. no problems.. my friends think i.. really really want to be a NBA player called Allen Iverson (AI, The Answer, Whatever aight?). the truth is that i found alot between ai and myself have in common.. my life was Shit.. he went through shit too. except he has a mom who supported him all the way.. my mom's a typical azn who raised me up to be a goody2shoes.. jus when i came here i realized a change and a sense of self-being.. i jus want to be Me.. i came here with no friends, only words i knew were "hello, good morning, and good night la".. lyk far out look at me now.. i met the wrong friends when i got here.. eveyrthing was shyt alright? family goin on and off i didn't even know.. homeworks were hard apart from maths.. when i repeated yr 5 i was really sad.. i didn't FEEL the need for degradation.. but now i realized its a good change.. at least now i have my best friend who's with me all the way since yr3 til now.. this friend is a real iverson wannabe.. all for the wrong reasons.. playing lyk him makes him more lyk him.. even Falliing down makes himself think he's more lyk him.. iverson plays with the heart.. not the mouth or strength. i dun want to be hot or sexy or cute or whatever you girl thinks its a good attribute for a mere friend or Anyone to as a friend.. if i's your friend you shouldn't even care if i's downright ugly lyk i am now.. rich or poor, i'm in between.. right now sliding slighting to the bad side.. more or less my mom never wanted me to care bout it.. i want to work not jus for experience.. but if family ever's in need i can chip in for financial problems.. i try so hard to make a career, i dun want to be a failure lyk my father.. i want to prove everyone that i can make a path out of a shit life lyk mine.. my family never discovered me.. all they think i am right now is a selfish lonerized careless boy who lives in his own world without his family and the only thing meant something to him is friends.. recently i told my mom i dun trust my dad anymore and i dun respect him because i think he doesn't love my mom anymore.. which she thinks too.. but as long as he's my dad i have to respect him.. BUllshit.. when i'm lyk 18 or something i'm goin to divorce him or something.. i dun want Anything to do with him.. *sigh.. holidays comming in a week.. i dunno if its good or bad.. right now i jus want to get away and hide for awhile without anyone disrupting me and think and think and think.. only if God can talk i jus wish to have one conversation with him to clear everything.. my relationships are all screwing up.. everybody's not doing what they're spose to do.. and their positions changin too frequently.. i need a steady life with everyone being the same everyday... and i want to find out what everybody is lyk inside and make sure i havn't connected myself to anyone who's not right for me.. i'm probably the sadest guy in the world.. always goin on bout the same thing over and over.. but i can't help it.. its these questions which have me trippin every second of the day.. and some ppl who doesn't even need me why even waste time on me.. if you guys have a perfectly good life jus why do you care bout me.. jus let me be.. i dun even know my needs anymore.. all i know is i need a career and a better life.. tomorrow i'm going to be working til 10 again.. *sigh.. so much obligations to follow and i put myself through it.. who to blame.. now i'm working on saturdays too i dun think things will get much better at all.. but regardless of me hope you guys had a good day and for the sake of god i love each and everyone of you out there and forbid myself from hate as much as possible.. Current Mood: oblivious |
| Sunday, April 2nd, 2006 |
| Sun 2nd Apr 06 & 10:27 PM |
HeyHEy
Hey sup sup guys how ya'll doin =P Sooooo fun todayyy!! played basketball for practically the majority of the day. woke up at 8 ish then got to the basketball court at 9 cos my mom had to go to church. and waited one hour for my guys to come! before they came there're lyk a curry congregation or something.. then all these curries guys lyk 3 of them jus come on the basketball on the other side and jus talk.. its so funny cos they think cos they're black they're mad ballers xP and they're lyk staring at me or something which drived me nuts.. if you think you're better than me then Step up.. then yea my guys came and we jus played. one on oned gavgavvvv and did drills and played 2v2 changin teams every 5 points =) i recorded the some of the games and captured some photoes for those who are interested =P http://spaces.msn.com/lllenigmalll/photos/?_c02_owner=1i keep improving and i'm loving it =D at night i played at brickpitt. and you know how the old guys dunno how to play basketball and jus shove and push and stuff... i couldn't stand it so i was raging and lyk jump shot, legs in the air and kicked the old guy on the chest or something.. and it went in! and i's lyk WOoOoOoo!!! YOU g0t_FaCeDDD! =D=D hehe i was so hyped up today especially when my crossovers are soo much better now. crossovers are lyk dribble from on hand to another really fast and yea basically its used to fool someone to goin another way so you can get through and its SOoOoo funny and it feels so good when ppl jus lyk jump on the other side and the crossover works =P Yea so my friend DJ BROTHERS now new name =D David yea we were in the team the wholle time tonight =D so mad! we make up a mad team! he's tha beast under the ring and i'm the scorer! =) at one stage when we were playing we got full pissed cos they dunno how to play basketball and they were playin cheap.. jus lyk reaching in (sticking their hands in to get the ball but instead its lyk feeling my ass..) but the ref who's also an asian and can't play ball didn't call it.. so yea.. we won that game.. cos my mad lay up and his beastly play =P tank... so then we won and got asked to have a "rest" which jus seemingly tryin to keep us off cos they jus kept play without keeping the score.. davids lyk "there's only 10 minutes hurry up" "are you even keeping the scores" but they jus kept ignoring him.. but yea finally we played and he accidently hit some random lanky azn nerd guy and he got pissed and stuff.. then suddenly he jus stopped playing for some reason.. anyways yea it proved that the DJ brothers once again owned the courts! =D by the way D(david) J(jeff) =) its spose to be jd but i agreed wit david dj's better =P s'all good! (quote stolen from jo =P) good day good day hope the rest of you guys had a mad day too =) Current Mood: complacent |
| Friday, March 31st, 2006 |
| Fri 31st Mar 06 & 10:21 PM |
YayyyYYYyy
how are ya'llz?! i'm so fkn happy! well crazed and estatic. well why? go check it out on my blog =P i was so shockked! and amazed when i realized how high i could actually jump.. then i started too doubt and wonder if its taken from a particular angle so its lyk that. ionno maybe it is but i took more pictures and when i looked at it my knees were up to someone i played wit's waist so yea =P SO COOL! even thuc agreed! didn't ya girl? =P http://spaces.msn.com/lllenigmalll/photos/?_c02_owner=1sorry guys i only had two pics cos i couldn't be stuffed to add more.. i'll put more if someone can convince me to =P or come up to me someday and you'll see it yourself =D yea apart from tht everythings cool today. bet ya jo's hugging a pole right now ^^ ;) lol nah kidding jus being random to fill up space in this entry =P Current Mood:  crazy |
| Fri 31st Mar 06 & 12:11 AM |
Sigh of relief
Yay got so much stuff sorted out today wit my girl in 4 emails today =D or tonight. didn't do much today but YAY its lyk muftiness today at school! GO TEAM UNIFORM! so much nicer to play ball in balling gear instead of school uniform.. everybody think i sux cos all i do is pass and when i hog i can't do stuff i can normally do against the older guys i play wit after school! saddening lil fact there.. but yea i'll show them today.. he he he.. I'M SO MOTIVATED. after watching the allen iverson clips and ankled breaked guys and improving cross overs! i lyk jus wanna play right now! i was so motivated i had to do something.. =P so i lyk jumped round =P and did the crounching thing to improve leg muscles and umm did 50 push ups.. yea thats right 50's it cos i'm so fat *staree. *cough KRISS.. =P nah you're hot its aight jus a joke =P and yea. apparently i dun have six packs either =( fours alright? i see alotta characters in computer games with four packs! i think i'm quite pleased wit it =) woah at school i was so apathetic.. everything was lyk so boring and uninteresting i was only thinking bout stuff.. and when i watch tv yesterday its all lyk wtf how can this happen this is bullcrap, or jus too hypathetical.. yea jus hope it won't rain today.. i so wanna play wit my friends at school and for once play at school wit my team and in our uniform =P and flog all their chink asses! pay back for the random scratch.. i'm lyk on my way to becoming allen iverson =P fkn stitch, throat injury, scratch, sprained ankles, pulled leg muscles, hurt wrist cos of over flicking the ball, pulled my back cos of too much jumping. Oh and by the way i didn't make into opens tennis! =D i'm so happy! actually i started feelign for tennis again after hitting two consecutive 100km+ forehands into the left hand corner.. yea i didn't do it in the try outs cos my intentions was to train for the opens basketball team next semester =D he he he.. (6)and i might start playin tennis next term if i can get lessons for an hour.. ionno its so expensive though.. alright enough bullcrap for today. i think i'll do something else now maybe sleep. please please please don't rain! gnight ya guyz <3 love yaz baby girl <3<3<3 yea i think jo understands shes the baby girl <3 hopefully. i dun think shes that stoopid... =P Current Mood: satisfied |
| Thursday, March 30th, 2006 |
| Thu 30th Mar 06 & 8:07 AM |
Hard thinking..
havn't stopped thinking since i lied on my bed thinking for lyk 3 hours before i slept til now.. i wondered if All the single ppl out there dun have a partner cos they think nobody can be trusted. i used to think only guys are faggots who are the ones running away with another woman.. but if you leave your girl alone for awhile not giving her restrictions and give her freedom.. your relationship will fuck up too *nod. my friend pius Is right.. his girlfriend made him deleted all his female contacts cos he's so close to them, and he told me its a risk worth taking. i am a risk taker and i give ppl the maximum freedom for those who i trust the most. apparently no one can be trusted in this world apart from god who made all this happen. i don't blame him cos i think all these are part of his plan not mine. i can't stop it and i can't do anything bout it if its bound to happen. maybe i am just spose to be a loner and a friend who can't talk or tell you what to do or want anything, my basketball. mMmmHhhhMmmmmm.. yea i'm lameeeee =) i know i'm everything bad and retarded all that stuff but at least i think i can be trusted for anything. if time gone backqards i would've done what pius did.. at least his relationship will last longer. but if it doesn't then he loses all his friends. got damit i havn't been studying yesterday!! xP. got so much in my head i couldn't even get a word inside my head.. fkn history too.. and was so tired so decided to sleep and study when i wake up (now) and at school.. and i have it first period. DoH! anyways i dun care i Just passed the maths exam and from what i heard i dun think i got good in the english one too.. should've got the things outta my head before doing lame tests.. ah well i'll be screwed but i still have 3 terms to make up for it =D=D Current Mood:  crappy |
| Wednesday, March 29th, 2006 |
| Wed 29th Mar 06 & 10:52 PM |
What a Day..
WoooOooOOooo.. my friend got a girlfriend!! hehe its good to have someone who understands how i felt.. i'm so so so happy forim! i jus want to see all my friends having a girl then i'll feel lyk YaY they're not gay! haha nah i jus want to see them ALL happy lyk i was 3 months ago. school was kinda boring. but shared a feel things with my friend who was so estatic since he has a girlfriend now =P BUT THEN at 5! i started work lol.. wait before that i bought a game card for world of warcraft! WOW lyk finalyl i bothered.. Anyways at work there were only five when i got there. me, jay (korean guy who showed me stuff), rach(this nigga chick who can singggg, i was lyk =O cos it sounded so good when she was singing to the songs when we were working cos our manager plays stuff from his cool ipod which has songs i love so much), george and john (managers. but george left when i entered the toilet to get changed so it's only john for the whole night) and finally the south american chick who i dunno the name =P lol. when i got there i jus stood and watched lyk 4 dvds Standing in front of the tv.. for safety and stuff. then jay showed me what to do how to do things round hungry jacks and yea when before we're closing i had a short break and went and joined john and the american in their convo. and john said shes turning 26 and shes lyk yea i'm 2nd year uni. HaAh i'm stupid enough to believe cos she looked so my age.. and she admited that shes the same age as me and goes to north sydney girls, been working for 3 months. then all of a sudden john told us that he's gonna lock the door for some reason and everybody jus vanished and jus left me and that chick in there lol. then we talked and she told me if i know anyone who went to denistone in primary and we talked bout my friend who recently got the new girlfriend. lol and we're lyk fully baggin him out for some reason cos he's such a retard sometimes and apparently in primary he was annoying too =P and shes saying how he could barely fit through the door then haha.. and apparently she also lyks the songs which my manager was playing too hehe and yea she was adopted cos i saw a white guy outside and she said thats her dad and she has a brother who is ADDICTED to computer games jus lyk mine. hehe i reckon we can become potential friends =) probably talk to her more if she goes next week.. far out i have to go at 4:30 next wednesday til closing again.. but yea i'll get used to it soon.. *sigh.. hopefully she'll go and john will come too.. i love his taste of songs =D GO USH USHER!! still have a test tomorrow on history.. so annoying.. anyways its a pretty good day though, at least got my head off the depressing things for 5 hours or so =) Current Mood: complacent |
| Tuesday, March 28th, 2006 |
| Tue 28th Mar 06 & 11:37 PM |
*sigh
I can't take this.. no one to talk to..! all alone in my room with usher and 5 ppl online on msn.. i'm glad i made this lame journal thing.. at least i can type these feelings out.. do you guys know what i love best? this is no bullshit.. i love seeing happiness.. i love seeing couples and ppl being happy, hugging each other, smiling, laughing at jokes all that jazz. lately i've been thinking through the times when i's alone and by myself.. maybe thats jus me.. its who i am and how i am, i jus won't match next to a pile of crap kinda thing. and i know i'm happy being myself and with myself. its lyk when theres no one to talk to and you have this feeling inside and wanna go BOOOOOOOOM!!!! and ya know.. let everything out.. today at lunch.. a guy i was playin basketball wit (chink) dribbling.. i stripped the ball off him and his hand went flyign and slash onto my eye.. that second i jus REALLY REALLY want to let everything fkn thing out.. family issues Personal issues EVERYTHING.. my veins were gonna pop.. but i know i shouldn't burst into anger.. and controlled myself.. it was so hard and too close.. i even asked my friend if i should punch him in the face cos i didn't lyk that guy who scratched my all that much before anyways.. but i didn't do it.. its not cos i'm a coward.. maybe cos of the bible.. havn't been going to church for awhile now.. i feel guilty for not going.. but going there i have to face many accusations.. which i discussed with my tutor today.. i love who i am and i'm not gonna let anything or anyone get to me.. but going to church and let hypocritic asian parents look at my that way and talking behind my back i jus don't know why go for.. To be a christian all i need is to have faith in God right? but my mom is telling me i have to study his words blah blah.. and so much things.. jus no point of going apart from the fact that i feel less of a christian for not goin and less of being a jesus freak.. i wish something or someone can help me.. gettin caught up with issues in lyf.. havn't felt this depressed since ages.. *sigh.. inside i'm lyk saying "omg you fkn queer you're not bleeding and you're not hurt stop lettin the tears fall out!".. GOT DAMIT i jus fkn can't.. feels lyk you can't gain true happiness in lyf.. even if you can its not eternal.. GOD please help me.. i need guidance and and instruction manual to guide my through these obstacles in lyf.. i jus don't want to try.. everythings against me.. everyone's opposing.. now i know how Jesus felt.. at least Jesus had his men.. all i have is my fkn sweet sweet nothing.. everythings so clear.. yet opaque inside And out.. amen...... |
| Tue 28th Mar 06 & 10:16 PM |
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| Tue 28th Mar 06 & 10:10 PM |
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| Sunday, March 26th, 2006 |
| Sun 26th Mar 06 & 11:55 PM |
Woop tii dooo
Yay bout a new game today =) its so fun but ya chicks wouldn't know.. yea i'm not telling my guy friends i have a journal cos they're faggots and i only want you girls to read it =P cos i trust girls and they're better than guys with corny things lyk these random journal stuff =P Anywayss. the new game i boughts called Magic the Gathering : Batterground. anybody heardddd? well its fun basically you enter a game arena with a bunch of random spells based on the type of color you choose.. lyk Green-Forest Black-Swamp White-Plain Blue-Water or something i forgot but it looks lyk it.. Red-Mountain alright so basically you choose one of these and you get spells based on the colors and each of them has their own special advantages and stuff =P lyk better summmonings, sorcery spells blah blah.. dragons (bd) so much i still need to explore in the gameee.. and yea and i can play multiplayer too =P but havn't been bbothered to downnloaded Magic The Gathering(MTG) online yet so yea.. you know how much spacei have left?! C Drive- 2.29g D Drive- 4.45g and i'm not spose to put stuff in the d drive =( anyways i'll have to find ways to delete stuff to make more space.. luckily i dun download porn lyk them other guys so yea i'll have to delete something =P Let see.. yea i gave my journal address to amanda =P and told her to gemme davids email...!!! stupid jo.. hopefully i'll get to know bout more the basketball comp next semester.. i can't stop going to courts and play and my back still hurts! so its not getting any better! WA WA WA WA (baby crying noise)! mm what a day hey? actually didn't do much apart from that going to macquarie to hungry jacks and get my uniform and a stupid chick told me to get naked lyk in front of the counter and i was lyk "are you for real?" =P yea umm shes a bitch Anyways gotta get goin.. English exam WEeEEEeeEee.. then health assignment and WoOoOoooooo History essay! whichs a test.. which i dun really giva shyt bout cos i'm dropping that lame subject anyways.. and commerce.. and science.. andddd etc.. maybe not art cos we dun get exams on art (bd).. and hopefully i'll get that hot *drool (lol stole emo from kriss =P)teacher again who's also a bitch to me when i was in yr 7 for givin a crappy artword a prize when mine was obviously 6 times more prettier.. far out saying so much forgot bout study.. actually i'm not really studying but yea gotta read and skim through a couple of pages anyways =P Love yaz <3<3<3 Current Mood: Mediocrity |
| Sun 26th Mar 06 & 1:33 AM |
Sorry girl <3
so sorry girl.. <3 it took me lyk 5 minutes to choose this mood.. i was gonna put angry.. but come to think of it i'm more depressed for acting so fcked up to you yesterday.. didn't do nething today though.. jus played and ate.. the studying was always stuck on the back of my mind but never put into action so yea.. screw exams.. i'll study today.. jus want to play ball.. jus lyk over and over again non-stop.. but damit hurt my back last time now i can't even dribble.. i dunno bout now but on friday i couldn't play that well cos of it.. told my mom to put the money and stuff into my acct though.. so all's good so far.. btw babe i'm working on wednesday and saturday for now george later i might work on monday but thats jus later.. probably wont need me anyways. Wednesday :- 5pm - 10pm Saturday :- 12pm - 5pm man that sucks.. i want more money.. so much stuff i want to buy and save as well.. *sigh thats bout it for today though be a good girl now <3<3 love the rest of ya'll too <3 yea thats right you 'rest of you' only worth one <3!! for obvious reasons.. Current Mood:  depressed |
| Thursday, March 23rd, 2006 |
| Thu 23rd Mar 06 & 1:08 AM |
saddsadsadsa
Hello! the current time is 1:08 am and i'm still doing my assignment.. why arent i doing it? i dunno.. anyways i'm jus gonna say hi to myself Hence i'm the only one knowing the existence of my lj account.. *sigh. work is perpetual.. endless.. tedious.. and fkn gay.. if i's living in america i'd be on some random holidays.. those lucky faggots gets lyk 3 months holidays and crap =( and get guns and shyt.. hehe.. oops no swearing.. no wait its my fkn lj i make the rules round here! ok this is too much for an entry.. gonna goooo and work.. fck i'm so gay why would a guy own a journal.. FCK fck fck fck fck fck.. still i hate queers! |
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llenigmall's journal